Providing someone with performance feedback can be an intimidating process, then add to the mix the stress of having to deal with an emotional reaction, and you understand why some managers will do anything to avoid these conversations.
In this episode, I’ll share with you three techniques that I mastered which helped me to effectively handle hundreds of emotional conversations. While emotions can be unpredictable and may seem to pop up in your conversation without warning, these tools will help you to acknowledge and diffuse the situation with confidence.
PLUS, don’t miss this week’s Take Action Challenge and implement this week’s coaching tips.
Do you manage people? If so, get tools and strategies you need to take the fear out of feedback with my book You Have to Say the Words: An Integrity-Based Approach for Tackling Tough Conversations and Maximizing Performance. You can find the paperback or digital version at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your local book seller.
So enjoy this week’s episode of The Nimble Leader show. I appreciate you listening and I hope you tune in next week!
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TAKE ACTION CHALLENGE:
To help you stay nimble, here is this week’s Take Action Challenge. Take these 3 action steps in the next week.
1. Practice using open ended questions this week. Open ended questions will help you to further any discussion so try them out in meetings, interviews, coaching sessions or even at the lunch table. They of the standard reporter questions; who, what, where, when and why. They are all a good start to an open ended question. Closed ended questions typically start with; do, did, are, and can. Notice particularly in your coaching or counseling conversations how the open ended questions allow the person to drain off some of their nervous energy while they talk.
2. Practice using active listening skills; acknowledge what you are seeing and hearing, summarize and paraphrase what has been said, empathize with how they are feeling, and probe further using questions to gain a better understanding. Do this with your family, friends and co-workers. It is a gift of attention that they will appreciate and they will feel that in that moment, they are very important to you.
3. During the next week, when you see emotion entering a conversation (positive or negative), look for the signs to help you determine which of the 4 levels the emotion is at, and use your good active listening skills to help you demonstrate that you are not only hearing what they are saying, but you also understand the emotions they are feeling. Notice people’s reaction when accurately reflect back at them their emotions, their appreciation is often very visible.